FTC Targets Book Bloggers For Whining About Getting Free Shit

FTC Targets Book Bloggers For Whining About Getting Free Shit

The FTC has decided to crack down on whiny book bloggers in a recent announcement from the government agency.  Recently it has come to the federal government's attention that book bloggers have been complaining that since they get free shit they are exempt from disclosing that they get that free shit from the business that they are commenting on.  Now that the "We are very ethical when we give glowing reviews to our friends and publisher that have published our books." FTC has taken its valuable time to focus on these whiny ass bitches, and since the FTC really doesn't do anything about the shysters selling herbal remedies that don't' do anything other than make your piss glow a strange shade of yellow, it has decided it could do some good in quashing the rampant corruption in the bo...

Sexism is not the Problem; Not Getting Laid Is.

Sexism is not the Problem; Not Getting Laid Is.

That isn't sexist. It really isn't.  So what if there were no women interviewed in the BFS's anthology of horror writers for this year's convention.  I don't see it is being sexist. I see it as being what reality is.  There are just more better men writers out there than women and why would we want to read an interview with sub par writers, am I correct? Cause we know that horror fans love slutty girls. Not those ugly ones with talent, brains, and the ability to scare us not only with their writing but also with our feelings of our own inadequacy. Look, if the anthology included some women writers the overall quality of the interviews included in the book would have decreased.  The editor obviously had his head screwed on right when he chose the authors to r...

What We Need Right Now is More Zombie Fucking!

What We Need Right Now is More Zombie Fucking!

Paranormal Romance meets zombie fiction. Yes, I said it, Paranormal Romance meets Zombie fiction.  Fuck vampires and ghosts.  We need some good down-home zombie sex.   I know there are women out there that read paranormal romance and are just slightly off mentally and that a good reanimated corpse fucking would do the trick. 

Horror Literature Quarterly: Epic Fail!

HORROR LITERATURE QUARTERLY has closed its doors in one of the most awesome examples of epic fail as can be.  HLQ started out as some grand experiment trying to gather the greatest in horror fiction while putting up airs of superiority and self righteousness and failed in grand epic-ness after only four issues.

HWA Commissions 5 Year Old for Next Anthology Cover Artist.

The HWA , with their success in finding an artist that works with magic marker on construction paper for their cover of Blood Lite: An Anthology of Humorous Horror Stories, have found another prodigy of the crayon.  The HWA plans on releasing a new anthology of brand new horror short stories titled, Blood Tired: We Just Aren't Trying Anymore to Look Professional Horror Stories, and they plan on using the kindergarten prodigy as their cover artist.

HWA Ignores WHC like the Girl They Hooked Up with the Night Before PDF Print E-mail
Written by Holden Pike   
Monday, 08 December 2008 00:00
The HWA and the WHC were all buddy-buddy in Salt Lake City and Toronto. Two relatively popular cities.  OK not popular but at least on some people's list of vacation spots.   Both awards ceremonies came off without a hitch and were a well attended event.  And  moving into the 21st century in Salt Lake City they even broadcast the event over the web.  So what would make this great relationship sour in the weeks following the success of the Stoker Weekends at both Toronto and Salt Lake City?

Winnipeg.  That's right Winni-fucking-peg.
Yes, blame the Canadians once again.  Or really blame the HWA for acting like a college football player the morning after slipping a mickey to the pretty girl at the fraternity party.  Disappearing in the morning mist after finding out that the cute girl looked like Abe Vegoda.  Winnipeg playing the part of Abe here.

Deb LeBlanc writes on the HWA website, "While attending WHC 2008, we had the opportunity to meet with the World Horror Society group and express our concerns about the chosen location (Winnipeg) for WHC 2009."  Translation: We ranted and raved to the WHS asking what they were thinking by awarding the WHC to the Arctic Circle. Deb continues, "Some of the concerns noted were the remoteness of the location and expense to travel there—the inherent problems with customs for dealers and/or authors wanting to bring books over the border . . ." Translation: Seriously who even knows where Winnipeg is?  I had to look on a map.  And why even have it out of the US since everyone knows its stupid to have it outside the US since most of the people attending and most dealers are from the US.  Why should we pay more.

Now watch this great juke move by associating the prestigious Edgar Awards with the Stokers: "and the fact that the date scheduled for WHC 2009 fell on the same weekend as the Edgar Awards Banquet. Although the Edgar banquet has nothing to do with HWA, quite a few of our members are also active members of MWA, and the Edgar awards is something they won’t miss. " Translation: By the way the Edgars are the same weekend and at least two of our members are going to those ceremonies and by extension we're cool too and you should take out award seriously.  And it sounds like a reasonable reason as to why we aren't participating in the epic fail that is the Winnipeg WHC.
If the WHC is awarded to Madison, Wisconsin, for example, we will drop the WHC like a hooker that just finished.
She continues, "I didn’t want to commit our Stoker event in ’09 to WHS nor to the folks coordinating that year’s World Horror Convention, then have very few of our members show up. Without question, that would spell financial disaster for our organization and theirs." Translation: No one is going to show p for the WHC in 2009 anyway and even less to a Stoker ceremony there so the HWA doesn't' want to be associated with such an EPIC FAIL, since we can do it ourselves thankyouverymuch.

"To get past all these challenges, HWA’s board has decided to do a stand-alone event in Los Angeles in 2009." Translation: We have a big enough challenge to get people to take us seriously so we are trying to have the Stoker Weekend in a well populated area where there are at least more people interested in the award than Polar Bears.

"Although HWA will not be tied to a World Horror Convention in 2009, that doesn’t mean we aren’t committed to making an alliance between the organizations work whenever possible. We have our fingers crossed that WHC 2010 will be in a location mutually beneficial to both orgs." Ohh,  burn.  Translation: The WHS fucked up mightily by picking Winnipeg and we are hedging our bets just in case the next WHC's are in cool places like London or NYC again.  If they are there then we will once again have the Stokers with the WHC.  If the WHC is awarded to Madison, Wisconsin, for example, we will drop the WHC like a hooker that just finished.

 

 

20 Questions with . . . stemmed from Holden Pike cribbing ideas from a website called Metal-Sludge.He figured it was a good idea and wanted to seem important so he took their forumla and applied it to the horror fiction field. We have authors like Brian Keene, Tim Lebbon, Kealan Patrick Burke, and many others. And new ones coming soon. You can see the previous 20 Questions here.

 

And We Didn't Even Make This Up

"I've been sitting here browsing the site and reading the articles, and I've been laughing my ass off. Clearly, some of the best writing being done in the horror business is being done by people making fun of the horror business. And if anything needs to be made fun of, it's the horror business, where we often take ourselves way too seriously. UFTU is drop-dead funny even though I've been so out of touch that I don't even get some of the jokes. There's stuff on your site that is worthy of The Onion, or the old, all-but-forgotten satirical magazine Spy. I'm hooked. From now on, I'll be regular reader of UFTU. Great stuff, great job."

- Ray Garton, author of Live Girls

20 Questions with BRIAN KEENE PDF Print E-mail

Brian Keene is the author of The Rising, Fear of Gravity, and Terminal. He was the fiction editor at Horrorfind.com and has just been named a co-editor for Cemetery Dance Publications Grave Tales comic. When he got these 20 questions I assumed he was still bald but at his last signing he had grown some hair so the bald questions may be dated. But they are funny. Visit Brian at his website.

He is awaiting the release of the sequal to The Rising entiltled City of the Dead from both Delirum Books as a limited signed edition (which has sold out) and a mass market paperback from Leisure Books. He lives in Pennsylvania where his wife gives him an allowance to buy comics.

 

**This 20 Questions was originally published back in 2005.  I don't exactly remember the date.  But it was in 2005.  I know that because, well, Brian's baldness goes in waves.  Much like a sine wave, and much like judging distance in the universe by the pulsations of a Cepheid Variable star, you can gauge the passage of time by his fluctuating baldness.
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Bring Me the Head of ST Joshi! PDF Print E-mail

I like horror. I like Dean R. Koontz, Stephen King, Clive Barker, and any number of best selling horror authors (and even Frank Perretti! Damnit!). I like my books to go fast and not let up throughout the entire story. I like that I don't have to really think about the book after I turn that last page. I like that I don't have to think about the characters and the themes and anything else about what the author is trying to say other than those visceral scenes of monster on man, monster on oak tree, oak tree on man rape and liters of blood.

I like Dixie cup horror. I am proud to admit that.

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